Casper the dream

Once upon a time there was a dream, named Casper. Casper was the dream of a very shy boy, known as Jonah, even though his real name was Jonathan. Jonathan and Casper were the best of mates and played together every night and even during the day they hang out. The best thing about their friendship was that everything was possible when they played. Their imagination, of which they had no shortage, was their only limit. Another important thing to mention is that in Casper and Jonah’s world everything was positive!

Well…. everything was possible and positive until one day things started to change. That day was difficult and sad for Casper, because he waited and waited for his friend, but Jonah didn’t come until nightfall. When he finally arrived, he explained to Casper that he hadn’t had time during the day to play. Casper didn’t really understand what ‘time’ meant and where to find it when you don’t have it. He was confused.

After that day things went from bad to worse. Jonah started setting limits to their game. Sometimes they were time limits, other times they had to do with imagination, which he was losing bit by bit as he was growing up. However, Casper the dream didn’t have an age, like all dreams, and as the years went by a distance grew between them as Jonah started to forget about his best mate. He would tell himself that Casper was only a dream and that he wasn’t worthy of that much importance in his life anymore.
Until one night Jonah, the teenager, lost his dream. He searched, but he didn’t find him. After having waited for so long, Casper felt so sad and lonely, that he had gone to a quiet spot to hide. Jonah didn’t look for him again and he forgot about his best friend Casper all together. What importance does a dream have anyway?

Jonah grew up to be Mister Jonah, a serious and timid man, just like he had been when he was little. He didn’t talk much and spent most of his time working. He thought that that’s just the way life is. But without being able to explain why, he sometimes felt a bit empty. It was just a feeling and he didn’t pay much attention to it, because he was rational man.

Until one day he got up and felt so strange and empty that he did something extraordinary, something he had never done before. He called his boss and said he couldn’t come to work that day, because he was sick. He went back to bed and fell asleep again. Something happened that morning, that hadn’t happened for many years…. Mister Jonah had a dream!

He had an emptiness inside, so big that it could only be filled in one way. It was exactly what Casper needed to reappear in his best friend’s life. Because what those empty spaces always lack are dreams. Casper and Jonah found each other that morning and gave each other a huge hug, while crying happy tears. It had been so long since they had seen each other after all. Casper hadn’t changed at all, but Jonah or Mister Jonah now, was no longer the same and had totally forgotten how to play their game. Luckily Casper had (and still has) lots of patience, because he doesn’t know what ‘time’ is. So without hesitation nor a grudge he retaught his friend how to use limitless imagination as well as the belief that everything is possible. Jonah started to remember again.

From this day on they played together, like the old days, every day and every night for the rest of Jonah’s life.


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Such a crush
It makes me blush
Only one thing on my mind
How love makes blind
It’s an addiction
Perhaps even fiction
How to know
When struck by this flow
It takes over like couch grass in the garden
Without a warning nor a pardon
Crushed by my crush,
I feel fragile and small
While that handsome boy still stands tall.

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If I were the sun

If I were the sun
Across the sky I would run
Touching everything I’d lay my eyes upon
With my warmth, embracing all and everyone.

But if I were the sun
So hot and bright
People would also wish for the night
I’d have to disappear and hide
For my rays would burn and set alight
That which would come into my sight.

And if I were the sun
I’d be worshipped for my power
But I’d be locked up in a tower
Like a lonely desert flower
Wishing for a smile or a rain shower.

So if I were the sun
I’d like to be a tiny one
Making all around me smile instead of run
That would be so much fun

Now it occurs to me with delight
What if that little sun already exists inside
Patiently waiting for the day it need not hide
So it can come out and play in broad daylight

It quietly sits until the moment I unlock its gate
And dare to live without being afraid.
Until then it will simply wait
For it knows it’s never too late.

If I carry this warmth, enough to share
What If I just open up, without a care
Wouldn’t that be a breath of fresh air?
How about I dare?


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Amidst a fog

They told me to go outside,
because the sun was shining.
But when I tried to, the door was locked.
and when looking out of my barred windows,
all I saw was a thick fog.

I had not seen the sun for as long as it takes,
to make it a distant memory.
Like a pleasant dream,
that upon waking fades away quickly,
making room for the reality of that day.

The sun,
oh how it would dry out the dampness of this fog,
that has settled so heavily, so permanently.
How it would bring growth and change,
where stagnation now rules.
How it would smile down on me
and tell me it would be back tomorrow,
to welcome another day.

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A tale about the tallest sunflower

This short story I wrote last night as a way to express my grief for the loss of my dear friend Robbie Lawton, who died last week. It’s my way of visualizing how deep depression may feel. Robbie suffered from this for many years. Last week he simply couldn’t handle the darkness clouding around him anymore and decided to go to the light instead. Very brave.


A tale about the tallest sunflower

I once knew this sunflower, who was always curious about the world beyond what he could see. He felt so eager to see, feel, smell, hear and taste all that existed out there in the big unknown. He dreamt about how it might be…so green and lush and full of life. Then he pondered some more, as he did all the time, about all the creatures big and small, all sharing this wondrous place called planet earth.
Oh how he wondered: “How might it be…?”

With this wonderful dream in mind he grew and grew and grew until he had outgrown all the rest. There he stood so strong and tall, a beautiful flower like no other in sight. Now finally he could see all that he had wished for, all that time. All that was out there. So he stretched out just a little more and started moving his head, as if attached to the sun, looking around. Day after day he stood there tall and firm, slowly swaying in the wind.

But what he witnessed as time went by, made him shrink a little every day. The world out there, from way up high, was harsh and rough, he felt. It was screaming for his help. But what on earth could he do now… just a sunflower he was.

As the rain poured down on him, if felt like tears from mother earth. And when the storms came raging through, he was left trembling and shaken. Feeling the hurt of a planet in pain. Where once he had stood so proud, holding his head up high, he now felt small and desperate, feeling the struggle of the entire world weighing him down further, every day that went by. He started thinking day and night, of how he could save the world. And desperation soon reached his core, as he saw around him so much, that he couldn’t fix.

He was just a flower and was lacking wings to fly away and help out there.
He was just a flower and was lacking legs to run away and rescue those in need.
He was just a flower and was lacking arms to provide a helping hand to the chaos that he saw.
He was a flower once so tall, yet so small as he felt incapable in every possible way.
What difference could a flower make in a place so dark and gloomy?

As he stood there trembling and lost, not knowing what to do, he wanted so much to do what he couldn’t do… run left, run right… or just disappear and hide.

What he failed to see was just down below, where his shadow had quietly been helping all along. For it had provided a welcome home for plants, seeking shade from the piercing sun. It had been a safe haven for insects of all shapes and forms, that were hiding there and keeping cool. It was also just the right spot for little critters to stay out of sight from dangerous predators, while nibbling on some juicy plants.

Also in his loneliness he failed to see that his leaves were like umbrellas for those that are quite small. Like grateful spiders that otherwise would have been washed away by the rain.

With his eyes turned inward to hide away, he failed to see the smiles on the faces of passersby, admiring the incredible beauty and serenity of this sunflower so tall and bright. Such a wonderful sight.

As his heart was weeping, his petals slowly shrivelled up. He had lost all hope and hung his head down low. What’s the point of one flower trying to make a difference? What difference can I possibly make?

As the season changed and the sun grew tired of rising high up in the sky, the sunflower I once knew dried up and his petals fell off flying away with the wind. As the skies grew dark with rainclouds and the storms raged over the land, the ripened sunflower seeds fell down to the earth and settled into their new home. Lovely and moist as it was, The perfect conditions for little seeds to grow. Some seeds were eaten by thankful birds and taken to their nests. Where hungry little beaks were waiting to be fed. Other seeds were dropped somewhere in a place far from where they were born. Where they became sunflowers, so big and strong like the flower from which they came.

The sunflower that I once knew, finally gave a big sigh of relief. As with every one of his petals that was carried with the wind, a weight was lifted off his heart. He was no longer burdened by the sadness of his earthly life, as he now felt one with all there was and all there will ever be. He understood it all. He,  who had stood so tall and proud,  had indeed changed the world, just by being himself. Right where he grew, deeply rooted into mother earth. This realization made him so happy, that he shared his wisdom with all his friends.

And to this very day you can see this wisdom in all the flowers, everywhere on this beautiful planet. As they stand tall and proud, smiling at passersby. So whenever you see a flower, remember to stand up tall and proud and smile right back at them.

The end

The tallest sunflower

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Whispers of wisdom


As the hustle and bustle
gives way to the rustle

concrete becomes soil
and my tread softens.

As my ears dare to come out of their shells,
no longer ringing with car horns and tram bells,

I can finally hear my own breathing,
rather than someone else’s breath in my neck.

In this forest that surrounds me, the home of many trees,
all I hear is their whispers in every breeze.

No chatter, no rush, no rat race where I stand.
They all huddle together, protecting the land.

Swaying softly to the rhythm of the wind and the rain,
in tune with the earth’s pulses with nothing to loose nor gain.

So what are we fuzzing about and where are we heading to?
When we can stand together,  swaying and whispering like they do.

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Alone, but not lonely

The silence of rejection
A mind made up
A door tightly shut
Head over heart

or is it…

Fear over Love

For me, it’s alone over settling for less
Alone, but not…
Lonely in the presence of the wrong one.

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In a fog, day 6 del Camino


On my merry way to Bilbao to take a day off.
30 kilometers now doesn´t seem as much.
As my mind settles into the distances ahead,
it opens up to a timelessness space
of being free to enjoy the moments as I please.

A calming fog drizzles down,
decorating my surroundings with sparkling drops of life.
They shower my face and hair
and are like nature´s mascara on my eyelashes.

My kind of make-up.

Written on wednesday, 27th of march, 2013

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Verbal Diarrhea

Too much information
Some are full of it

Does it ever stop?
Even just for a moment

Enough time to take a breath
Or hear your thoughts

It doesn’t seem to
Just keeps going on

And on…

And on…

Verbal Diarrhea
So tiring to have to hear

In the train
nowhere to run

Stuck with that constant flow
Of useless words

Endless and pointless
Just for the sake of killing time

But it’s killing me
In the meantime!

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The wild card

Can it take shape as we go…
Or do we have to know it all in advance…

I choose option one
Sounds like more fun

And gives us more time to ponder,
About the things we wonder

How can we know it all before we start…
Shouldn’t we follow our heart…

Yet again, that’s the hardest part
It’s the wild card

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